Man fined for his car’s SHADOW crossing a solid white line
Huw Edwards always starts the news in exactly the same position
Calming things to say to an anxious child



To do list:
Dust off big coat
Get a cold
Fiddle with heating settings
Change duvet
Put fan back in wardrobe
Make soup
Find left glove— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 5, 2016
Before alarm clocks, people were employed to wake workers up with a long stick https://t.co/QMPIZDY8lr
— Metro (@MetroUK) September 5, 2016
"It's completely chemical-free"
*directs him to the Periodic Table*
— Pinky Liverdrawer (@Liverdrawer) September 4, 2016
The #GreatFireOfLondon reaches Saint Paul's Cathedral https://t.co/lNqv7Ch2Zb #GreatFire350 #LondonsBurning pic.twitter.com/0ayhOgjqBb
— Royal Mail Stamps (@RoyalMailStamps) September 4, 2016
If olive oil is made from olives and peanut oil is made from peanuts, what do you suppose baby oil is made from? https://t.co/8ussjqNJXn
— aisling (@traisling) September 4, 2016
https://twitter.com/shwr_thoughts/status/772417812635619328
Err… Someone's not been following the news ! https://t.co/CgRa71ITIF
— Ed Balls (@edballs) September 4, 2016
How to raise a child… pic.twitter.com/E5rmSmj5Bi
— Dave (@davechannel) September 4, 2016
https://twitter.com/shwr_thoughts/status/772305124165246977
We can do no great things, only small things w/ great love.
It's not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it.#MotherTeresa— Shane Claiborne (@ShaneClaiborne) September 4, 2016
"You only had to ask Tess" @ClaudiaWinkle @TessDaly #Strictly pic.twitter.com/3gYICk6UCD
— BBC Strictly ⨠(@bbcstrictly) September 3, 2016
Had an informative trip 2 Tesco today thanks to @innocent had to tell my own guineas they're above their station! đ pic.twitter.com/cJFVDBbVii
— Christine Forrest đ (@wle312) September 3, 2016
Things native English speakers know, but don't know we know: pic.twitter.com/Ex0Ui9oBSL
— Matthew Anderson (@MattAndersonNYT) September 3, 2016
Another vehicle being dealt with for "hogging the middle lane" which is an offence of driving without due care. pic.twitter.com/sdFdQeMYl2
— Roads Policing – Surrey Police – UK (@SurreyRoadCops) September 5, 2016
https://twitter.com/shwr_thoughts/status/772798630033928192
Despite a commitment from government four months ago, NONE of the eligible child refugees have arrived in UK https://t.co/osXhIAittK
— Candice Atterton (@CandiceAtterton) September 6, 2016
.@TwopTwips help Apple pay their massive Euro tax bill by paying ÂŁ160 for some earphones.
— Christian Edwards đ´ó §ó ˘ó ˇó Źó łó ż (@christianedward) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/MammonMachine/status/773590785929326592
abbiamo il primo vincitore del #AppleEvent #AirPods pic.twitter.com/jec08lRLVW
— simone (@zagher) September 7, 2016
The new Orange Yorkie tastes just like a Chocolate Orange, only it's a little Terrier.
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) September 8, 2016
Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) September 8, 2016
Expecting a call, meaning the rest of the day's plans are cancelled until it occurs
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 8, 2016
VAL WON THE TECHNICAL CHALLENGE. BANK HOLIDAY TOMORROW FOR EVERYONE #GBBO
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 7, 2016
Finally, it's here…#AppleEvent pic.twitter.com/srnCKN09Iu
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/AlfieWilliams_/status/760080276408111104
"Can you put it in an email?" – Translation: Can you stop talking please?
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/Join_Dave/status/773447550326145024
Weather update: grey and warm. Like the weather equivalent of a seal.
— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 7, 2016
Summer's not over till we say it is.
Great Britain & Northern Ireland, your Paralympians are ready. #Supercharge pic.twitter.com/joLm9or9nm
— ParalympicsGB (@ParalympicsGB) September 7, 2016
Someone made a map of the world according to Donald Trump https://t.co/AOWG9aTVhZ pic.twitter.com/fjKWhq4uQj
— The Independent (@Independent) September 6, 2016
Funeral story of the weekhttps://t.co/ti6EzRk4wV pic.twitter.com/deaCsmjGjg
— The Poke (@ThePoke) September 8, 2016
You can now get Nerdwax to stop your glasses from slipping down your nose https://t.co/JMIebF30On
— Metro (@MetroUK) September 9, 2016
Full checklist for Tories' Project Back To The Good Old Days revealed. pic.twitter.com/epVcGFdgib
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) September 9, 2016
Jane' on how it was growing up in poverty. "The walls of poverty are so high you don't expect anything else. You don't see possibilities."
— Compassion UK (@compassionuk) September 9, 2016
Anything to add...?